Nobody Likes You When You’re 23.

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It’s true, nobody actually likes you when you’re 23. Here’s a list of uncomfortable things I’ve learned in 1 month of being 23.

  1. You’re too “graduated” for your college friends. Sure it’s great to hang out every once in a while, go out for drinks or run into them at the bar on the weekends, but for the most part, their lives revolve around school, school friends and campus life. Nothing that you’re really welcome to unless it’s an Alumni function. Not to say that you don’t love all your college friends dearly, you just don’t want to be that person that people question if you graduated or not.
  2. You’re not “career” enough for your older friends. By now, most of the older people you know are either in grad school, living the “college friend” life still, or they’re working full time far away from you. I, personally, work 3-11pm full time, which puts a damper on all social life except awkward lunch dates and drinking on a nightly basis. Ain’t nobody with a 9-5 got time for that.. My job allows me to live a more sideways lifestyle than my older friends, which makes me a little less sophisticated, and a lot more intoxicated.
  3. Single at 23 is just awkward. Dating kinda falls between the two categories as well. You don’t want to date an undergrad whose life revolves around school, but you don’t really have the time to date someone who’s career like your older friends. Plus, when you meet someone, you can never tell where they fall on that scale because once you turn 21, everyone looks the same until 30 anymore. There’s literally nowhere to meet someone of quality. Online dating is just awkward, your friends that are in relationships are starting to move on from your lifestyle so there goes your wing-men on Friday nights and meeting people at bars is always tricky because you can never trust that it’s gonna last more than a night. So then you end up getting those “what-if” feelings about exes and that’s ALWAYS bad news.
  4. No one will hire you. You’re in that stage of “cool, you have a degree but you don’t have any experience that counts because it was all part time while you were in school”. So you’re basically minimally qualified for most jobs you apply for, but not the best candidate because you don’t have any post-grad experience. HOW CAN I GET EXPERIENCE IF YOU WON’T GIVE ME A JOB.
  5. Your parents love you, but they are starting to get tired of your shit. I love my parents to death and I know that even though I am working full time and should have my shit together, they’re still here for me when I don’t, however, at the ripe age of 23 and working full time, I’m pretty sure they’re both thinking “isn’t it time you fix your own life problems?”
  6. Your life revolves around answering BuzzFeed quizzes, Netflix and applying for jobs. Self explanatory. Currently on season 6 of Criminal Minds and according to BuzzFeed, I’m super sassy, not basic at all and I should have majored in Philosophy. Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop.
  7. Your style is between poor college kid and “hire me, I’m a professional!” Ditch the club clothes. You’ve got to spend what little money you have to buy cheap dress clothes so you can pretend you know what you’re doing with your life, but when you’re not pretending, you’re rocking those sweats and that college t-shirt that is so comfortable you’d cry if you lost it. Sweatpants are the comfort blankie of adulthood.

Young Adult novels and lifetime movies didn’t prepare me for this.

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Make It To Me

Love is such a beautiful thing. There’s really nothing like it. No high or drug (except apparently cocaine according to modern science) that can compare to it. It’s such a rush to look at some and think “wow… I am so lucky”.

I remember what it’s like to be in love. To have that time where you thought you had everything figured out and even if you didn’t, it was okay because they were there. It’s safe being in love, it’s warm and comfortable and feels like a dream, but it’s also the most dangerous thing. Love makes us do the craziest stuff. It can make the most sane person want to be committed and the nicest person mean.

So why do I crave something that is so terrifying?

I believe that eventually I’ll find what I’m looking for, it just won’t happen right now. It especially won’t happen in this town. It’s filled with nothing but exes, immature strangers that are only concerned with getting the hottest piece of ass in the bar and people who have no appreciation for me as a person. Looking for love, real love, in a college town is near to impossible… especially for someone who’s on their way out.

Being alone isn’t intolerable. To be honest, I’m doing just fine. I don’t cry myself to sleep at night cuddling my pillow because I want a boyfriend… that’s not me. It’s not hard for me to sit down at a restaurant by myself because all of my friends are busy, it’s not hard for me to move my own furniture or make decisions on what to buy or eat. Hell, I even enjoy it sometimes. It’s nice to just have “me space” and time to myself to reflect and unwind without the concern for other people.. but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want someone to love.

I believe that I’m ready for it. I’m finally getting myself into a place of happiness and fulfillment and I know I don’t NEED someone, I just want someone. I miss having that person around to look at and think about how lucky I am, and knowing that when they look at me, they’re thinking the same thing. I miss having those minor heated discussions on stupid things like which restaurant we’re going to dinner at or which movie we’re going to go see. I miss having someone look at me in my true form, silly me that sings around the house and is messy and cries when she’s PMS’ing over something cute my cats do, and smiles because they think it’s funny.

I miss that feeling of being needed and wanted. I find myself coming back to so many memories from times that I took love for granted and I kick myself. I wasn’t ready for love. Hell, until I ruined and gave up on love entirely, I wasn’t ready to rebuild and re-evaluate the idea of what it means to truly love and be loved by someone. I took so many things for granted before, always looking for the next best thing and for that I’ve learned to look at what I’ve got with stationary vision. I’ve been taken advantage of too… I’ve given love to those that didn’t deserve it. I’ve had my kindness mistaken for weakness and for that I’ve learned what to expect from both myself and from others in a good, healthy relationship.

I know that this seems like a silly blog post, it probably is, but I guess the point that I’m trying to make is that I’m ready for the next chapter of my life. I know that whoever is supposed to be my +1 is out there, and that I’m ready to meet them.

This song perfectly describes it…. please make it to me 🙂