Nobody Likes You When You’re 23.

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It’s true, nobody actually likes you when you’re 23. Here’s a list of uncomfortable things I’ve learned in 1 month of being 23.

  1. You’re too “graduated” for your college friends. Sure it’s great to hang out every once in a while, go out for drinks or run into them at the bar on the weekends, but for the most part, their lives revolve around school, school friends and campus life. Nothing that you’re really welcome to unless it’s an Alumni function. Not to say that you don’t love all your college friends dearly, you just don’t want to be that person that people question if you graduated or not.
  2. You’re not “career” enough for your older friends. By now, most of the older people you know are either in grad school, living the “college friend” life still, or they’re working full time far away from you. I, personally, work 3-11pm full time, which puts a damper on all social life except awkward lunch dates and drinking on a nightly basis. Ain’t nobody with a 9-5 got time for that.. My job allows me to live a more sideways lifestyle than my older friends, which makes me a little less sophisticated, and a lot more intoxicated.
  3. Single at 23 is just awkward. Dating kinda falls between the two categories as well. You don’t want to date an undergrad whose life revolves around school, but you don’t really have the time to date someone who’s career like your older friends. Plus, when you meet someone, you can never tell where they fall on that scale because once you turn 21, everyone looks the same until 30 anymore. There’s literally nowhere to meet someone of quality. Online dating is just awkward, your friends that are in relationships are starting to move on from your lifestyle so there goes your wing-men on Friday nights and meeting people at bars is always tricky because you can never trust that it’s gonna last more than a night. So then you end up getting those “what-if” feelings about exes and that’s ALWAYS bad news.
  4. No one will hire you. You’re in that stage of “cool, you have a degree but you don’t have any experience that counts because it was all part time while you were in school”. So you’re basically minimally qualified for most jobs you apply for, but not the best candidate because you don’t have any post-grad experience. HOW CAN I GET EXPERIENCE IF YOU WON’T GIVE ME A JOB.
  5. Your parents love you, but they are starting to get tired of your shit. I love my parents to death and I know that even though I am working full time and should have my shit together, they’re still here for me when I don’t, however, at the ripe age of 23 and working full time, I’m pretty sure they’re both thinking “isn’t it time you fix your own life problems?”
  6. Your life revolves around answering BuzzFeed quizzes, Netflix and applying for jobs. Self explanatory. Currently on season 6 of Criminal Minds and according to BuzzFeed, I’m super sassy, not basic at all and I should have majored in Philosophy. Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop.
  7. Your style is between poor college kid and “hire me, I’m a professional!” Ditch the club clothes. You’ve got to spend what little money you have to buy cheap dress clothes so you can pretend you know what you’re doing with your life, but when you’re not pretending, you’re rocking those sweats and that college t-shirt that is so comfortable you’d cry if you lost it. Sweatpants are the comfort blankie of adulthood.

Young Adult novels and lifetime movies didn’t prepare me for this.

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42 thoughts on “Nobody Likes You When You’re 23.

  1. Oh my goodness, this is exactly me. (Except I’m 22 and don’t drink). But still! There is nothing more true than when you said: “No one will hire you…HOW CAN I GET EXPERIENCE IF YOU WON’T GIVE ME A JOB.” So, so true.

    • Bob says:

      There’s a reason that almost every college in the country has a required internship to graduate, or at the very least connections with internships in the area that one can pursue. There you go – experience. There is really no excuse for having a degree but no experience. :/ People make fun of the way white college kids love unpaid internships, but they are a step toward a real job.

      • Annie says:

        I had 4 internships under my belt by the time I graduated in May and I”m still looking for a job. Most places look at internships and part time jobs at the same level. They’re looking for “professional experience”.

      • 1. Not that many colleges require internships.
        2. Lots of people have to work through college to pay bills. That is usually a job that pays, but isn’t necessarily good for your career, like waitressing. You can’t just quit for something unpaid (even if it’s better experience) because you still have to pay tuition.
        3. I had 2 internships upon graduation. Still can only get a part – time job.

      • Beth says:

        Agree with Bob, if you get a *good internship, you’re set. Graduated in fall and have gotten 3 great job offers this fall.

  2. I definitely had that same thought about “how can I get experience if I don’t have a job?” It turns out the answer was, “Okay, we’ll give you a job… But it’s only going to be part-time. And there are no benefits. But possibilities! Maybe a promotion some day!” Not cool.

  3. Want to know something funny? I’m 23, married with two kids…and even with all of that, this is all still true. Even the buzzfeed quizzes, netflix, and job searches. LOL. It’s just that age I guess.

  4. 21melpomene says:

    I’ve been 23 literally for a month (give or take a few hours) and everything on this list (minus the drinking for me) is entirely accurate. Thanks for letting us know we’re not alone. Off to continue bingeing YouTube videos, reviewing the job-search strategy, and pondering that almost-relationship I had during my last year in college. -_-

  5. Curtis says:

    The first three were right on but after that I couldn’t relate anymore. I might only be 23 but I am the General Manager of a restaurant so…

  6. Lena Sputnik says:

    Well, usually the remedy to that of “How am i supposed to have experience if you don’t give me a job?” resolves by getting a job while you’re still in college. Something related to your degree, even if it’s just an internship and they don’t pay you. Only that it puts you in that strange gap before 23 and before graduating: you’ll still be in school but no longer feel like your friends because they are not responsible of anything, thwy still worry much about school and they still lose most of their time in Netflix (you don’t, while working almost full time and studying you will have few free time and will try to use it in something worthwhile). But you don’t understand much either with your job colleagues becayse they’re too into job and you still have to school at 5 pm.
    That’s sad, but what’s sadder is that thispost seems to let us know that there’s nothing worthwhile in the life of a young adult. After college, what’s left: try to get a job, rot in it 8 hours a day, still lose a lot of time on the internet, drink when you’re free.. Wow! I surely can’t wait to have it.

  7. Matt says:

    I’m sorry, but this pissed me off. People need to quit it with the negativity and be happy you had the freaking opportunity to even go to college. And why do we go to college? If you said to be spoon fed and drink/party until graduation, then you are correct with the majority of today’s college students.

    I worked full time throughout college to pay my tuition because my family didn’t have the means to send me to school, and the government aid was hardly enough to help me out. Somehow I managed.

    Here’s a tip to those who are still freshman/sophmores: get involved!!! Take a night to research what kind of careers are pursued in your major. Also check out what kind of skills would be helpful that probably aren’t taught in classes and your textbook. Then use all of this to do two things: One, pick a minor to fill the gaps of information you know you will need to learn. And secondly, join any clubs/organizations that specialize in your major and contribute heavily to them. (i.e. if you’re a finance major, join the finance association. If you major in culinary, it’s a great idea to join the hospitality club) Get an internship, especially if it’s not already required for graduation. And finally, DON’T WAIT UNTIL GRADUATION TO START APPLYING FOR JOBS.

    What you do in college matters. And if you already graduated, then get involved with your community at the very least. Employers don’t want another kid who only went to school so his/her parents didn’t drop the hammer on them. They want productive people with a sense of ethics and responsibility. If you care, then you’d make sure you are one of these people.

    • Mamma Bear on the Loose! says:

      I’m sorry Matt, but your comment really pissed me off. Let me fill you in on a little something-something. First of all, I personally know that this blog is just for fun, an outlet, something the blog writer does in her spare time, and sometimes just written as a therapeutic outlet. Let me fill you in on a few other things…..the blog writer did work pretty much full time during college–in a hospital, as a nurse’s assistant–usually doing the crap jobs which the nurses didn’t really want to do…literally, wiping crap–one summer all third shift hours. She did happen to be rewarded financial aid and scholarships, but let me tell you why–she was in foster care due to having been taken out of an abusive situation when she was ten years old. Sorry, but just my honest opinion…she DESERVED the government assistance after the hell she had gone through! OH, and the scholarships??? Somehow, throughout the hell she went through, she persevered and was a pretty damn smart kid who happened to be able to kick ass academically. OH wait, I failed to mention that during college, when she wasn’t wiping asses, she was a peer educator for her college’s Student Wellness Network. She also was a part of a service fraternity and spent many hours involved in service activities. She has applied for numerous jobs before and after graduation, along with applying for additional accreditation certifications to enhance her marketability. Don’t you DARE sit in judgement of a silly blog written to make people laugh, poke a little fun, and make light of a situation. If you personally knew the situation, then you would have a little more creditability in your judgement–but you don’t! This blog writer was not “spoon-fed” nor did she “drink/party until graduation.” Most of all, she did not “attend college so her parents did drop the hammer on her.” I happen to know for a fact, as I am the blog writer’s MOTHER and I couldn’t be prouder! Stick with it my darling…you are wonderous, you are funny, and people do hate you when you are 23! (Just not me!)

  8. Leo says:

    This is so true. Let me tell about what happened when I was 23.

    I had this girlfriend and I took her out, it was a Friday night. I wore cologne to get the feeling right. We started making out and she took off my pants, but then I turned on the TV. And that’s about the time she walked away from me.

    • Yukonelf says:

      It is a little awkward if you’re one of the few in your group of friends not married/dating/engaged in your early-mid twenties >_> I know. I’m THAT friend. Everyone’s favorite question is: so… ya find a boyfriend yet? T_T

  9. This is completely the worst article ever not all 23 i am 23 i have so many friends that are my age and they are all nurses and i am full time housewife and a mommy i love my job and i love my life i always have time to go out and party with friends at the same time plenty of time to be with family…it is how you manage your life and not by the situation…

    • Dvo says:

      Lol all your friends are working nurses full time, just wondering if you were doing the same before children or did you get married right away and your hubby takes care of all financials. You’re life is completely incomparable to that of a regular 23 year old fresh out of college. Not to say motherhood is easy, but the route you took is much easier than pursuing a career to become fully independent without the help of parents or a partner.

  10. Leyla Moreno says:

    This is basically my life story, except I have a nice job and live alone.. Which isn’t technically ideal, since all I do is stay home, eat very unhealthy food and have endless movie or TV show marathons, LAME! But yeah, most of my “free time” is spent watching Netflix, or answering BuzzFeed Quizzes. The fact that I’m a movie maniac is part of the reason I got this app called “QuizUp” to play other lonely and miserable people who clearly have nothing better to do at 11pm on a Friday night (sighs). So yeah, my life IS pretty lame. Then there are my friends, some of which are either in a relationship or have a very “respectable” social life. The rest have an alcohol problem, which they refuse to admit, so I can’t really head down that lane. Funny thing is, when you first turn 21, you get your first slice of “freedom”, not realizing that every year after that will pretty much be the same, and is not but during this time when you realize you are now an “adult” who needs to get their sh*t together. So you are stuck between trying be this responsible person you need to be in order to get an average job, and leaving behind that irresponsible, reckless, lazy person you’ve been your entire life, which is tough, because, let’s face it, it’s the only thing you’ve known how to do your entire life.. So yeah, being 23 sucks!

  11. Namrata says:

    Have done about 12 internships, was an academically good student from one of the best law schools in my country and took me forever to get a job, and after sending out my cv over a 100 times, i finally found one that pays peanuts. internships do not qualify as work-experience, apparently. assholes.

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