It’s true, nobody actually likes you when you’re 23. Here’s a list of uncomfortable things I’ve learned in 1 month of being 23.
- You’re too “graduated” for your college friends. Sure it’s great to hang out every once in a while, go out for drinks or run into them at the bar on the weekends, but for the most part, their lives revolve around school, school friends and campus life. Nothing that you’re really welcome to unless it’s an Alumni function. Not to say that you don’t love all your college friends dearly, you just don’t want to be that person that people question if you graduated or not.
- You’re not “career” enough for your older friends. By now, most of the older people you know are either in grad school, living the “college friend” life still, or they’re working full time far away from you. I, personally, work 3-11pm full time, which puts a damper on all social life except awkward lunch dates and drinking on a nightly basis. Ain’t nobody with a 9-5 got time for that.. My job allows me to live a more sideways lifestyle than my older friends, which makes me a little less sophisticated, and a lot more intoxicated.
- Single at 23 is just awkward. Dating kinda falls between the two categories as well. You don’t want to date an undergrad whose life revolves around school, but you don’t really have the time to date someone who’s career like your older friends. Plus, when you meet someone, you can never tell where they fall on that scale because once you turn 21, everyone looks the same until 30 anymore. There’s literally nowhere to meet someone of quality. Online dating is just awkward, your friends that are in relationships are starting to move on from your lifestyle so there goes your wing-men on Friday nights and meeting people at bars is always tricky because you can never trust that it’s gonna last more than a night. So then you end up getting those “what-if” feelings about exes and that’s ALWAYS bad news.
- No one will hire you. You’re in that stage of “cool, you have a degree but you don’t have any experience that counts because it was all part time while you were in school”. So you’re basically minimally qualified for most jobs you apply for, but not the best candidate because you don’t have any post-grad experience. HOW CAN I GET EXPERIENCE IF YOU WON’T GIVE ME A JOB.
- Your parents love you, but they are starting to get tired of your shit. I love my parents to death and I know that even though I am working full time and should have my shit together, they’re still here for me when I don’t, however, at the ripe age of 23 and working full time, I’m pretty sure they’re both thinking “isn’t it time you fix your own life problems?”
- Your life revolves around answering BuzzFeed quizzes, Netflix and applying for jobs. Self explanatory. Currently on season 6 of Criminal Minds and according to BuzzFeed, I’m super sassy, not basic at all and I should have majored in Philosophy. Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop.
- Your style is between poor college kid and “hire me, I’m a professional!” Ditch the club clothes. You’ve got to spend what little money you have to buy cheap dress clothes so you can pretend you know what you’re doing with your life, but when you’re not pretending, you’re rocking those sweats and that college t-shirt that is so comfortable you’d cry if you lost it. Sweatpants are the comfort blankie of adulthood.
Young Adult novels and lifetime movies didn’t prepare me for this.